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5 Gifts to NEVER Buy Your Wife for Valentine's Day!

February 4, 2018 by Jared D 13 Comments

5 Gifts to NEVER Buy Your Wife for Valentine's Day!

What not to buy your wife for Valentines DayAm I the only guy around here that has a tough time buying Valentine's Day gifts for their wife? Am I the only one who waits until last minute, and then ends up buying the most random and disappointing gift out of sheer desperation?

I'm convinced I posses an undiagnosed mental condition that causes me to procrastinate EVERY "gift-buying" event that's practiced by modern society!

I've been married to my talented, beautiful, and intelligent wife Amy Desrosiers for almost 12 years. Being the dedicated and strong willed woman she is, she's been very "expressive" about the quality of my gifts throughout the years!

I have a lot of experience buying bad gifts for my wife. It started when we were dating at 15 years old. I bought her an XL tee-shirt when she was only a Medium! I figured it was better to buy her a shirt that was too big instead of too small. What I learned instead, was to never buy her clothes again!

In an effort to save my fellow Man from gift giver's remorse, I've put together this list of 5 gifts to NEVER buy your wife for Valentine's Day.

Man holding a razor11) Hair Removal Products

According to a 2008 survey by American Laser Centers, women spend over $10,000 in their lifetimes on shaving products. This number is actually over $11,000 in 2018 after adjusting for inflation! A logical thinking Man (such as myself) might think... "She spends a lot of money on hair removal products, so i'm going to buy her a gift that she actually needs.". WRONG! Most women will interpret this gift as "I love you Honey, but you look like a hairy Squatch!".

Instead, leave the purchasing of hair removal products to her! Unless you want to awaken the morning of February 15th with only no eyebrows!

Man holding broom12) Cleaning Tools

This should go without saying. However, I know of someone who actually bought his wife a new vacuum for her birthday! Needless to say, he was the one vacuuming the house for the next year. Valentine's Day would be an even worse time to buy your wife a gift that says "Hey Babe, you look so sexy when you vacuum the stairs, so I bought you the new Triple Suck 2000!".

That vacuum will be your new best friend while you're sleeping in the doghouse!

Man holding slow cooker13) A Slow Cooker

Slow cookers have the ability to meld the most unexpected ingredients into amazingly delicious dishes. If properly utilized, a slow cooker can even be used to build new relationships - like sharing your famous chili recipe at a tailgating party!

On the flip side - buying a slow cooker for your wife on Valentine's Day will earn you a one-way ticket to living on your tailgate!

Feel free to cook a delicious meal for the woman you love on Valentine's Day. Just don't buy her something she could roast your "chestnuts" with next Christmas!

Man holding cheap Valentine Chocolates14) Cheap Chocolate

I'm not here to tell you to not buy chocolate for your wife on Valentine's Day. Let's not forget - Chocolate is an aphrodisiac! The key to unlocking the amazing benefits of chocolate however, is to ACTUALLY EAT CHOCOLATE! The higher the percentage of cacao, the more "real" the chocolate is and it's generally more expensive.

Cheap chocolate typically contains very little cocoa. In fact, some cheap chocolate contains no cocoa at all! So what the heck is it made of you ask? It's made of wax, sugar, hydrogenated oils, and whatever else manufacturers can throw in there to make it cheaper!

If you love your wife, don't cheap-out and buy "wax chocolate"! Buy her high quality dark or milk chocolate and maybe you'll be sharing it with her in bed tonight!

Man holding womans slippers15) Slippers

Slippers are a great gift for your mother or grandmother. They love you unconditionally, and they're probably the only 2 people on Earth that wouldn't tell you just how bad your gift is!

If I bought my wife a pair of slippers for Valentine's Day, I'd best make sure to buy soft ones, because they'd be blasted half-way up my ass in 1.3 seconds!

Conclusion:

Basically, it's best to play it safe with Valentine's Day gifts. A few good options are flowers, high quality chocolate, chocolate dipped fruit/berries, or fine jewelry. The other option is to cook her a homemade meal (if you have cooking skills!) or take her out for dinner at a nice restaurant.

Whatever you do, don't make the mistake of buying her any of the gifts in my list!

If you decide to not heed my warning, start packing your suitcase!

 

Looking for really useful gifts for yourself or another handy man? Check out these two posts for some great ideas!

Everyday Carry (EDC) Gear You can't live without (that make great gifts)!

These 55 Tools Will Make You a Happy Home Owner

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5 Gifts to Never Buy Your Wife for Valentines Day

 

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Dawn Lopez

    February 04, 2018 at 4:52 pm

    Do you have any idea what you’ve done for humanity with this post?? You’re a true hero! ????

    Reply
    • Jared D

      February 04, 2018 at 5:28 pm

      Thanks! I want other guys to learn from my mistakes!

      Reply
  2. Melissa Chapman

    February 09, 2018 at 2:45 pm

    When it comes to Valentines Day for me it isn’t the cost of the gift but truly the thought. Some of our best Valentines Days has been him getting take out, a box of chocolates and a movie with just the 2 of us.

    Reply
  3. Anne - Mommy Has to Work

    February 09, 2018 at 4:02 pm

    Every man should read this! Haha! I believe i did get a vacuum one year for some holiday….

    Reply
  4. Marcie W.

    February 09, 2018 at 5:14 pm

    This post definitely made me giggle! While these gift ideas would not be at the top of my list, I am always grateful for my husband’s efforts. Thankfully, he knows what I like.

    Reply
  5. Theresa

    February 09, 2018 at 9:18 pm

    I completely agree here! I’d love something homemade (dinner, card, dessert) or even just run me a bubble bath and let me relax for a bit. But get anything off this list, that’s a surefire way to spoil the day!

    Reply
  6. Claudia Krusch

    February 09, 2018 at 9:34 pm

    I actually like slippers, but agree with the other items! Such a great list! I’m sharing it with hubby!

    Reply
  7. kristi

    February 09, 2018 at 10:12 pm

    I had to laugh a little. I’ll agree with you on some of these but I am not a flower gal. I totally agree on the chocolate thing… better be some good ones and not cheapo ones ha ha.

    Reply
  8. Myrah Duque

    February 09, 2018 at 10:34 pm

    OMG! This is the best I’ve read! Now I will have my husband ready it and SEE if he gets the message of what NOT to buy! You saved a marriage hehe!

    Reply
  9. Heather

    February 10, 2018 at 2:29 am

    Let’s just go ahead and forward this to every man in my address book. No to all of these “gifts”. Anything chore related is a no-go.

    Reply
  10. Dogvills

    February 10, 2018 at 12:21 pm

    Any man with common sense would not give his wife cleaning tools unless she has been dropping hints for it. OMG, I would be furious to get a new broom or mop for Valentine’s day! Thank you for this article. I am sure it will help a lot of men to choose a better gift.

    Reply
  11. Chip

    August 21, 2022 at 7:10 pm

    Seems we have learned some of the same lessons with regards to buying gifts for our wives - probably the hard way! Here are some of the items I've purchased for my wife - that didn't go so well I got here because of your post on Harbor Freight tools - and just bought the Hercules Miter Saw. Enjoyed the blog & learning about you. Thank you! Sincerely, Chip

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. What to NOT Buy Your Wife for Christmas! - It's a Husband Thing says:
    December 12, 2019 at 9:24 pm

    […] Buying a Christmas gift for your wife is no easy task. I struggle every gift giving holiday to find the perfect gift for mine! In fact, it’s one of the reasons why I dislike Valentine’s Day gift giving so much. I even wrote – 5 Gifts to Never Buy Your Wife for Valentine’s Day! […]

    Reply

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Welcome to It's a Husband Thing. I'm Jared, an Engineer and avid DIY'er. My mission is to inspire, educate, and entertain my fellow Man.

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